To say that parenting during a Kundalini awakening can be challenge is a profound understatement. And yet children, especially young children, are often extremely aware of these energies. They can also be very sensitive to them. I have found myself at many points in a deeply shared awakening process with my son. Again I am grateful to all the support I received from so many beings, including even my ex-partner, so that I could continue to be a good mother during this intense time of energetic change.
If you are having a difficult energetic shift/awakening and you are a parent. The following books may be a support:
Here on this page are excerpts from some email discussions I had with Charlie Morris about parenting. It contains one of the best answers he ever wrote me, which he republished on his own blog site a few years later, when it touched him anew. It is not only good advice for how to parent, but illumined a deeper experience of life. I am deeply grateful for the unstinting efforts he made to communicate with me during the most overwhelming periods of my healing. I have emerged from this unfolding a much better parent.
Q. My son got off the phone saying goodnight to his dad and suddenly became very rude to me. “Your lying,” You don’t know what you’re talking about.” etc etc. After a few rounds of this I calmly told him he couldn’t speak to me like that and he was going to have to have a time out in his room to calm down. On the way up, the rude comments started again. Double time out. I rarely have to give him time outs. After ending the time out and starting to get PJ’s on – I asked him who at school acted that way. After a few non-comittal answers he suddenly burst into tears about a classmate who is winning all the “good-boy” purple falcons. My son’s whole sense of self-esteem was being compressed into whether or not he could get this daily award. I did hold him while he cried and talked to him a little more after he calmed down.
This was all after I had spent 30 minutes in a session with the school counselor and his teacher this morning about how he is developing a self-image that he can’t do his writing assignments. He then lets other well meaning kids in the class fill out his papers for him, and when we work on homework at home he often bursts away from the dining table exclaiming “I can’t do it” if a correction needs to be made.
My son was never like any of this before he started Kindergarten in Sept. So I think again, can I somehow scrape together the money to get him into a school like a Waldorf school? Hmm, probably not.
Ok, I’m not going to whine. Obviously I feel powerless about certain things that I see are going to affect my son for his whole life. The “we’ll just have to work around the negative aspects of public school” plan feels like a way bigger hit when you are actually “working around” those issues.
So here’s the question – right in line with your second answer about space. What I am hearing you say is that engaging in natural activities of loving and compassionate action will help integrate that spaciousness with the appearance of the waking state. Do you have advice for me on how to handle it when the compassion must be so “up close” and intertwined with a deep sense of powerlessness to change the key the “external” causes of the suffering for that other being (a loved one)?
A. (Charlie Morris)
Now to the question. Powerlessness isn’t a deep sense of anything. It is the truth. The most plainly simple and awful truth of our existence. We reside on a bedrock of impermanence. We exist in a state of recycling. But ask yourself…is it possible to do something within this state of powerlessness? Yes. Recognize someone else’s powerlessness. Have compassion for their suffering against that truth. Recognize full and well that everyone you will ever meet struggles only out of the reasoning that they should actually have some control after all, in this land of powerlessness. So, what I am saying, is that our love, our hearts, render us as powerful beings. Our hearts, in the face of powerlessness, make the journey sustainable. Without our hearts, we need crutches, we need more money, we need more stuff, we need more doing….
We can’t ever end another’s suffering, not ever. But we can help them feel loved through their suffering. Our issues are like children. The one we love the most, tend to grow up strong and move out someday. The ones we don’t love, tend to stick around and fight with us. They are still around long after we feel done parenting them. Love another’s struggles like your own children…especially if it is your own child. It does not mean appreciate the fact that they struggle, but just be grounded and compassionate for them.
The essence of all suffering is the sense of separation. No one can end that truth. But anyone who is loving another well, will help remind them that the we are connected, that separation is a “sense” or “experience” but not the truth. Only love can teach that lesson.
So, on the ground level. If you are in a situation that you cannot change. Feel your feelings, take deep breaths, go forward with an open heart and put one foot in front of the other…and most of all trust that no accidents are happening ever.