Questions and Answers on these pages are excerpts of email dialogues I had with my Kundalini healer Charlie Morris. The theme here involves how to ground the experience of boundarylessness that opens up in spiritual awakenings.
Q. This rekindled the awareness of “where” I recognized you from. From within the inside of my own Mind. Is this roughly what you mean when you say “seeing the light you see in me is only a reflection of the light in you” ?
A. (Charlie Morris)
Yes. It is like the sun looking at the moon and saying “you are so bright!” However, all life is the sun and the sun is God and God is always looking at itself…always, it never stops. Just imagine that every single person you look at, that whatever you see there, is inside of you. The good, bad and the ugly. Take care when you look though, to love whatever it is you see outside of yourself, and it can be a most powerful lesson in loving yourself. Love what you see in others with the recognition that it is another version of God in the manifest world, experiencing a powerful lesson in duality. This journey is so divine, so unspeakably orchestrated…just work on loving what you see in others around you, even the ones you would rather not look at. Using me as an example, since you can easily see the God that shines through this vehicle…try now searching for that in others. Feel its quality in them..
The naked space you speak of. Yes, of course, a wide open and boundariless place isn’t it? What happens is that it is like getting a car that never has to follow any roads. A car that can take you anywhere on the planet. But in your mind, you are still thinking that you must stay on the road. So there you are…in this amazing machine that is limitless, and yet with a mind that says we must still stay on the road. We end up feeling like we are just moving through empty space, wondering why we are still here when we already died. I feel a good question is to ask yourself what can be done in this place with your life. The mind does not recognize the breadth of what has occurred and just sits still in all that emptiness. I have found wonderful experiences in working with compassion at those times. To include myself in endeavors that call upon me to use my heart in a grounded way. To call friends who could use support. To pay extra attention to my children. To give to myself. To quit writing poetry focussing on the big vastness and to focus on the minutiae of painting, or sitting outside, or creating some sort of art project with the kids. The big empty space of nothingness can also be defined as a huge heart with no where to focus upon. All love wants to do, is to share itself. So find a place to share it. The vastness is real, but if we feel do not touch the ground, then we can not do anything with it to aid others or ourselves from suffering.
One last thing is to just remember good old fashioned emotions. To give yourself time to cry or laugh every day.
Q. I felt a strong subtle connection with “you” this weekend, especially when we were in Chapel Hill on Saturday. The K energy was good and consistent but not overwhelming. There is one experience I want to share and ask a question about. I tend to have experiences that are “yogic” in nature.
I was in the Halloween store yesterday – and I felt how this whole “reality” is a projection, and it actually can shift at any moment (and I don’t just mean a tornado, I mean the very “laws” of the appearance). I mean this more in a Milarepa or Tilopa way, a “hidden wind channels” way. That recognition both felt scary and familiar at the same time.
A. (Charlie Morris)
Your entire life is yogic in nature. What is occurring is that you are integrating yogic reality with the grounded reality you are accustomed to. It is okay to have this occur slowly. I would give this advice to anyone. Just like in my Blog posting about the future not arriving, parts of this can be very challenging and ungrounding in many ways. There is no hurry. Do not seek it out, let it find you. When it does, it will feel scary and familiar. Everyone you know is on this path. Everyone you have ever met is working on every level to allow integration of the sky and the ground. Some are sleepwalking through it and not even awake to the fact that they are sleepwalking. Some are trying to go back to sleep. Then there are those who have been jolted awake and finding themselves, at times, in an unfamiliar place. It will become more familiar to you, it will become integrated and my advice is that when you find yourself having those shifts…to do the best you can. Just remember that you are supported by life. Breathe, feel and express your feelings when you can, and go forward with an open heart.
Q: Is this in the same direction or realm of what you indicate by “no future”?
A. (Charlie Morris)
Yes, for me, I literally do not experience the illusion of the future.
Q. One other question. This “stupor” I feel. Physical tiredness “obstacle”. I can only do so much to change my physical circumstances to get more sleep. I do what I can with exercise, practice and diet. After the summer, around the time you wrote “A thousand” – I felt that I must penetrate this appearance of being a tired body (“beast of burden has fallen down”). Ultimately this appearance is not conditioned.
Do you have any advice?
A. (Charlie Morris)
Yes my advice is within those stanzas. Famine represents what looks like a thing from the outside that takes things from us. Ultimately I am referring to Famine as Truth. And it feasts upon our illusion until we are left with a continually more and more empty plate. It seems to be taking something away from us, but it is only taking illusion. I understand that you are tired. My advice is to fall in love with your experience. Do not try to change it. Embody a practice of compassion and do not think of what needs changing. The beast of burden didn’t decide to lay down in the field. It just fell down. Your experiences will fall down, as they will. Love them while they are still with you. Just think “okay, I am Teala, I am exhausted, I don’t know how long I can keep up this pace….now, how will I learn to love this experience, since this is the experience that I am having?” Acknowledge where you are, until it is no more, and enjoy it until it shifts. Find your way into appreciation for what this tiredness teaches you