Soul Sister

I hadn’t been there for almost three years.  That is hard to believe I hadn’t seen her,   my birthday-twin soul sister, in so long?  The time seemed to warp as I looked at her last week. Had I really not been here in that long?

Of course the last three years since the retreat my healer held in Colorado have been overwhelmingly filled with medical issues for my father, and also for my son to a smaller degree. My time most weeks was not really my own… but also, I was friends with her on Facebook which gives the illusion of actually having had contact with people you haven’t physically seen in years.

When I very first met her,  I had this awakening to something sublime and reciprocal.  We both did, and we could express that to one another.   I am grateful she is still here in this world appearance to return to.

It is strange coincidence that her 0wn life has taken an unusual turn,  a very non-traditional friendship, which immediately awakened my perception of the paradox of light-shadow.  So powerfully good and conscious for her in one away, and yet a relationship that can not be whole, flourishing  in secrecy and a kind of long-distance longing.

What I had no inkling of, was that returning to these meetings would support such a rapid shifting in another friendship I’d developed over the last four years.  Last year this friendship was so supportive of self-reflectivity that I wrote about it on one of my blog articles. This week it became clear, swiftly and abruptly,  I’d recently accepted so many boundary violations, that now the friendship had become untenable.   At least the active sharing of the friendship has come to a closure, I asked the person to leave my space.  I had become an agent of holding space for inappropriate sharings, and harsh views of my own path. Unfortunately, it was such a sudden recognition that I had to ask in a very forceful way. Only after that could I see that there had been many boundaries crossed over some time, and because I did not speak up about them, and hold to them in each moment, it became a sudden and more wrathful response.   Boundaries are a reciprocal process, if they are not consciously stated, it can be hard for the other person to know energetically when they are crossing them.

There is something about being with my soul sister that unlocks my heart.  Though I am focused very much right now on how I hold myself through my own healing,  I am grateful for how our souls hold each other when we meet.  There are also a few key lines coming back to me from one of my favorite articles about love by my healer.   It doesn’t matter whether it is parent-child love, romantic love or soul friendship love,  it is good to realize the import of these lines in any form of human love:

Personal love is a respite, a beautiful respite that is necessary at times to remind us of how wonderful it is to be us.  Why is it an illusion?   Because when two people are in love, they are really just loving themselves in each others presence.  But people make the error, though a wonderful one, of thinking that the other person is the source of their happy feeling.

The strangest recognition is seeing through the projection that the other person is the source of the painful feelings we have, if they cease to “love themselves” in our presence.

I celebrate meeting with my birthday-twin, soul-sister again by sharing the  poem I wrote almost five years ago when I was fortunate to meet her.

All, Already Awake, Always

This dimension
Where we are
All, already awake, always

We seemingly put ourselves to sleep
With our own word
And wake ourselves up
Reminded by the echoes
Of another’s inner landscape
Lightning fast, again
And again
All the while
All, already awake, always

Playing, this lila
Agreements to sleep
Commitments to wake
To see mirrored in others
The very things we do
To suffer, to grasp
To delight, to set free
To wake up in joy
To wake up in sorrow
To comfort and be consoled
To turn
And become our own
Secret Wish
Even if in the arms of another

All, already awake, always

 

This entry was posted in Communication, Embodiment, Healing, Kindness, Past Lives, Spiritual Community and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s